RPG Feuille de personnage Age: 19 Niveau: 1e année Cognita Baguette Magique: Noyer noir, cheveu de vélane
Sujet: St Barnaby: a fanfiction Ven 10 Juil - 9:36
Comme promis, je soumets a votre bon jugement le premier chapitre de l'histoire que je suis en train d'écrire, pour me remettre dans le bain de l'écriture. N'hésitez pas a me faire passer votre critiques, que ce soit en rapport avec vos personnages ou non !
Le titre est provisoire, si vous avez une idée brillante, n'hésitez pas 8D
Désolée c'est en anglais, car le groupe de critique a qui je veux le soumettre ne parle pas français.
Quelques petites precisions : pour l'instant je fais apparaitre Ava comme méfiante et difficile d'accès, histoire de rendre les choses un peu plus intéressantes. Je pense également utiliser son deuxième prénom, Cecilia, dans ma version finale, afin d'accentuer son cote beauté du sud. A voir !
Quand a Bernie, je ne sais toujours pas si Kat a envie que je l'utilise, alors a voir aussi pour la suite !
PS : vous me manquez ma bande ! Et moi aussi je veux tripper sur SPN avec vous =D
Breakfast at the 606
She had been staring at the golden 606 on the door forever, and still she could not bring herself to press the damn bell. Get yourself together Marlene, you can do this. She tightened her grip on the muffin basket as she rehearsed mentally. ‘Hey Ava, what up buddy? Oh, good evening Avalon, it’s a wonderful night, isn’t it?’ She shook her head. None of this sounded right. She might as well step back and run home before anybody could see her in this corridor and think she looked like a fool. But the beating of the pop music and the soft brouhaha of voices and laughter filtering through the door seemed to say ‘come Marlene, come join us in the palace of cool’. Yes. Yes she would totally join you. She could be splendidly cool too, and she would show them all. With a warm wave of pride and excitement rolling up her backbone, she finally approached her forefinger to the bell. That is when the door flung open.
« I’ll be back in five, » said a tall blond guy as he went out, putting on his jacket. « Leave me some booze! Oh, sorry. »
As he bumped into Marlene, probably too short for him to notice her, he stepped aside and kept the door open for her, before leaving at a hurried pace. She stood there for a second, not quite sure what to do with this golden opportunity. With her heart drumming in her chest louder than the beats of the song the stereo played, she eventually stepped into the apartment. She did it. She finally made it to the promised land and its blessed people, lit by the warm scarlet glow of the garlands, lulled by the merry yet tranquil music playing in the background. She marveled at how spacious and tastefully decorated the place was, with art on the walls and pale wooden furniture. Under her feet, extended a large carpet of white fur, and above her head, twinkled a glass chandelier, projecting dancing dots of light on the ceiling. There must have been ten, maybe a dozen people here. Only a few of them she recognized from the university. Not even in her most audacious dreams, would she have imagined blending in such a beautiful, yet diverse crowd. A trio of almost identical, hipsterly dressed girls were smoking by the window, where a muscular black guy with shaved head was apparently saying something hilarious, judging by the girls’ unapologetically vivid laughter. She would have expected such a strong fellow to be drinking beer or something really bitter, but he was sipping on a colorful drink that Marlene guessed was a cocktail of some sort. Oddly enough, in the corner of the living room, a densely tattooed and bearded guy was picking the music, which didn’t seem to match with his local-punk-rock-band-leader looks. Slouched in the beige leather sofas, a group of sporty young men were discussing some game results, waving their bottled beers with agitation. And there, there she was. Swaying to the music in the middle of the room, a glass of wine in her hand, one could not miss the queen of the place, with her curvy silhouette gracefully wrapped in a bold red dress, her dark hair falling down her back in subtle waves, and an air of pretty trouble-maker constantly on her face. She had thick eyebrows and long auburn lashes shadowing her cerulean eyes. Marlene took a deep breath. Then another. ‘You can do this’, her brain reminded her. She replaced her bobbed hair into place, then bravely clenched the basket in her hands before strutting towards Avalon.
« Hey, » she whispered.
This first attempt was a failure. She did not even notice her.
- « Hey, » she said again, this time at an audible volume.
Avalon turned her attention to her, and checked her from head to feet, then feet to head in silence. Marlene just stood here, awkwardly holding her muffin basket against her, waiting for her sentence to be pronounced. ‘Please remember me,’ she begged telepathically. ‘It’s me. I always sit right behind you in classic literature class. Oh dear, tell me you noticed me.’
« Hey, random-girl-from-uni-whose-name-I-have-no-idea, » Avalon finally replied. « Oh. Hi. My name is Marlene Johanne Johansen. Marlene with an ‘R’, just like the actress. Yeah, alright, who invited gingerbread head now? It’s not ginger, it’s strawberry blond, » Marlene murmured.
Her hazelnut eyes quickly browsed the crowd. Think of something, Marlene. Think. If she realizes you basically crashed into her party, it all ends here. When the huge bold guy and the three girls throbbing his biceps came to her sight, she knew she got the perfect excuse material she needed.
« He did, » she said, pointing out the guy. « Damn it Jamar! » Avalon sniggered.
Jamar looked at her from afar above his cocktail, raising eyebrows. He excused himself to his audience and proceeded in their direction. Avalon crossed her arms on her breast, a grin stretching the side of her cherry lips.
« Are you planning to stop being a misleading attention whore anytime soon? What can I say babe, they all want me, I can’t help it, » he answered in a deep bass voice.
He suddenly seemed to realize Marlene’s presence, and his teasing expression turned into a genuine large smile.
« Bonsoir, honey bunny. I’d swear I saw this angel face before. Let me guess… Do I know you from the gym? The Aquarium? The Basement? »
The Basement, she knew this place. Not that she ever had put a toe in the actual place, but she used to wash dishes in the restaurant facing the night club. Every night she would try to go home without being bothered by a stranger with heavily alcoholic breath. She would not be surprised if Jamar had been one of these guys at some point.
« Really, you don’t remember? » she said showing a falsely disappointed pout. « We met the other night at the Basement »
Where did that sudden playacting even come from? She cut off her tale, gauging Jamar’s face. He did not seem surprised or incredulous. Avalon only seemed vaguely interested in their story. Was it possible that she could get away with this plain fabrication? She decided to try and be even cheekier.
« We had the best time dancing and drinking cocktails. You asked me to come to this party… Oh dear, this is embarrassing. Now I realize that you might have been too drunk to remember it. »
She held her breath. She had been too bold. There was no way in the world that this comedy could possibly work, she was busted for sure, and now she would look like ridiculous and she would never dare to show up at the lit class again and meet Avalon’s judgmental blue eyes. But to her great surprise, Jamar put his arm around her tiny shoulders and crushed her against his massive chest. Marlene’s cheeks turned fuchsia as he held her on his side.
« You know what honey bunny, you just confirmed that I make the best decisions ever when I’m buzzed. By the way, are those space muffins? » Avalon asked.
Marlene stuttered something supposed to mean yes, even though she was confused about why on earth she assumed that her muffins would come from space, then she handed the basket to Avalon, whose face suddenly brightened up.
« Muffins, guys! » she announced to her guests, who seemed really happy about the news.
« I didn’t get your name, » Jamar said as he released her. « It’s Marlene. With an ‘R’, like the Hollywood actress. Well, glad to meet you again, Marlene with an ‘R’, » he answered as he took her hand to his lips and kissed it softly. « May I get you a drink? »
She followed Jamar to the window where he introduced her to the three girls who happened to be called Brenna, Jenna and Stella. She accepted the drink he handed to her. It smelled delightfully sweet, a mix of mint, lime, and sugar. She hesitated for a second before dampening her lips in the glass.
« Oh dear, this tastes delicious! What is it? Come on, they don’t have mojitos where you come from?» He added in a softer voice, as her cheeks were turning pink again. « Do you even drink, honey bunny? Of course I do! » she cried, « I drink all the time! »
She did not know exactly why Jamar, Brenna, Jenna and Stella burst into laughter, but she was quickly reassured when one of the girls (which one was she, Marlene was not sure) called her cute.
She screened the room for Avalon. She had resumed dancing, and she was now nonchalantly chatting with the tall blond guy who had just come back with a tower of pizza boxes in his arms. The other guests seemed equally excited about it as they were about her muffins from space.
As she observed the simple, but warm and cheerful scene that was happening before her eyes, she thought to herself, ‘you made it. You can be proud of yourself, honey bunny. You’re on your way to become somebody’s best friend’.